The New Normal

“Wow, so this is the new normal.” It’s not a question. It’s a phrase that I see plastered all over social media and hearing said during the thousands of zoom seminars that I seem to attend five days a week.

For my entire professional career, I have been accustomed to this idea of being able to leave the office for the day and leave all my work with it, until the next day. However, due to the nature of my current job (communications for a nonprofit organization), I do find myself doing some work outside the office at least a few times a week. I have always been high functioning when it comes to work assignments and I have been told that I go “above and beyond.” It’s not at all intentional, believe it or not. Rather, it’s a need to fix anything out of place and my desire to see tasks done well and done efficiently. Throughout my life, this has meant doing way more work than I am paid to do. However, I have always held fast to that idea of leaving my work at work - even if that isn’t always my reality. Before March of 2020, it was unbeknownst to me how crucial it was for my mental health to at least think that I always had the option to leave my work at work. The new normal has destroyed that idea completely. The idea of home being a safe haven where I can choose whether or not I’m going to do extra work (that’s typically above my pay grade) is no more.

After my 5 days of work zoom calls, and work emails, and work texts, and work work, I spend the next two days in some kind of daze where I do my house chores and try to get at least some of my personal work done. That “personal work” being building my own personal website and social media pages, applying for jobs, etc... Then, I blink and it’s Monday again. Every weekday I have a meeting, and a task sheet to update, and work-from-home reports to fill out. It’s almost as though every day is a Friday, but without the excitement of not having to work tomorrow. Instead, it’s this constant feeling of “almost.” I’m in this constant state of being almost finished with something. The call is almost over; the task is almost done; the workday is almost over. Completion never really comes, though.

Honestly, I don’t really mind being in the house that much. I do, however, obviously prefer it when it’s of my own volition - rather than due to a nationwide lockdown. I’m what many people would describe as an introvert. Having to interact with people for long periods of time is very draining to me, and that’s often what comes along with being at one of my two jobs. So the best part of the day has always been being able to go home and enjoy some time by myself and recharge. However, during the quarantine, remote work has caused a rift in my reality where there’s a clear cut definition of work hours versus personal hours. I’ve received emails at 12:00 am and other odd times that are outside of my regular work hours, and some expect immediate answers. I continuously find myself doing work at all hours of the day and night. The constant interaction with people via video calls, emails, and texts has given me this feeling of being constantly at the office and constantly surrounded by people - many of whom seem to think that they have unlimited access to me and my time.

The lines between work time and personal time have been left completely unrecognizable. Now, home is work and work is home and there’s no start time and no end time. Whenever I clock out of work, there’s nothing but more work left. The new normal has consumed my safe spaces - even the imaginary ones. I somehow have this constant feeling that I’m not doing nearly enough work while simultaneously feeling like I’m doing way too much.