40 Times I Knew My Relationship Wouldn’t Last but Stayed Anyway
- Kie
- Feb 22, 2022
- 4 min read
Updated: Feb 27, 2022
* Tip for reader — any ONE of these things is enough to leave... quickly.
When I bought him a sweater online and wanted to feel the quality and he said “what did you expect, it was only $20”
When I pointed to something I wanted to look at in the grocery store and he checked his watch and sucked his teeth — he did not have other plans
When he suggested I was lying about being sexually inexperienced (repeatedly for 3 years)
When he walked me up to a girl at an event and had me shake her hand, only after to find out she was the girl he’d been cheating on me with. Then he told me I had lipstick on my teeth. Then he sent her a text message apologizing to her for walking me up to her
When he admitted that he put me in uncomfortable, anxiety inducing situations on purpose because he wanted me to be “uncomfortable for [him]”
When I poked him with something to get his attention and he slapped it out of my hand and across the room, breaking it
When he made fun of my teeth (repeatedly after I asked him to stop)
When he called my hair nappy (repeatedly after I asked him to stop)
When I tried to calm him down and he screamed at me “what do you expect! I haven’t had sex in days”
When he stopped texting me for 3 days then unshared his location, knowing that I lived alone in a new state 900 miles away from any of my family and friends
When he said “I wish I could sleep all day [like you]” knowing that I was on new medications for my depression and anxiety, and they were causing drowsiness and hindering my work — making me extremely stressed
When he would call me on the phone to scream at me after a long day of smiling in the faces of his coworkers that he hated
When he told me that he had been “playing” me all year on purpose
When he cheated on me (not with the same girl as #4)
When I called him because I was falling asleep on the road, and he remained quiet on the line
When he continued to be friends with someone who physically assaulted me on his behalf
When he continued to be friends with someone who called me a “hoe” and hurt my feelings
When I made a five-hour long playlist and he insulted it, knowing how excited I was about it
When he allowed his roommate to ask me if he and I “had sex yet”
When he tried to convince me that my religious beliefs were stupid and childish
When I told him that I couldn’t live with him because my family didn’t believe in “shacking up” and I had to respect them, and he insulted my family and tried to convince me what they said didn’t matter
When I tried to explain to him that I had grown up in, and was still experiencing, poverty and he said “just ask your Mom for the money”
When I told him that an associate of mine had intentionally gotten me drunk, entered my home under false pretenses and attempted to sexually assault me and he said “why didn’t you just stop drinking”
When he finally revealed to me that he had already had sex with the “friend” that he’d been talking to me about for the past several months (not #4 or #14)
When he constantly berated me about whether or not I was going to take off work to fly out and visit him, stressing me out so much that I became physically ill for months and later that year had to get surgery
When his critique of the first poem I ever showed him was “it doesn’t make sense”
When he told me he didn't like his sister's girlfriend, calling her "manipulative" and "toxic" after meeting once. However, after I met the girlfriend and found her to be very sweet and not at all like he described, he revealed that he now believed that the real reason he didn't like her was because "she didn't fit conventional beauty standards" — i.e., because she was fat and darkskin
When I discovered that he had coerced a girl into taking a plan b, to hide the fact that he had broken one of our relationship agreements
When he told me he “knew more than me” because he was getting his master's degree in a subject that I was actively practicing (education) — knowing that I struggled with wanting to get a master's but was anxious about applications
When he angrily refused to leave my home after I asked him to go because it was late, and I had work in the morning
When he became angry and didn’t speak to me for weeks because I didn’t do a sexual favor for him
When I found out, 4 years into our relationship, that he had a girlfriend in Costa Rica when we first started dating. Though, before we started dating, he told me that it didn’t make sense for him to have me as a girlfriend because he intended to move back to his home state
When he went to a party for 3 hours instead of bringing home dinner
When I discovered he was in a group chat with men who were sharing women’s nudes and videos without their consent
When he checked my text messages before we were dating and while he was actively refusing to date me
When he told me that a man I was seeing was a womanizer — which turned out to be untrue and he was just jealous
When he brought a stranger into his bedroom unannounced to sell him drugs while I was laying on his bed with my shirt off
When he told me he wanted to come over to my apartment to do homework, then later informed me that he never intended to do homework
When he admitted that he reneged on wanting to go on a date with me because he only really wanted to sleep with me
When he ________
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